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Saturday, December 14, 2013

Oh Peachy! Bang, Flash, Wallop, Wot a picture. Wot a photograph! ...and postscript from Cllr Turnip


Oh Peachy!  Bang, Flash, Wallop, Wot a Picture. Wot a photograph! (Apologies to National Treasure Tommy Steele who is currently at the Peterborough Broadway in Bill Kenwrights touring production of Scrooge) .....

....trouble is the snap happy councillor didn't get a signed 'model release' and clear it with the boys parents for commercial print and publication. Now the Daily Mail is on the case.....  286 comments racked up so far says the newspaper!

Tory local bigwig and property company boss Cllr John Peach, 54, can however breath a sigh of relief as contrary to commonly held opinion, there is no law that actually prohibits taking pictures of children in public places  .... but we suggest the doughty councillor quickly gets a free Specsavers eye test - the road sign reads 30 mph, and not 20 mph, as suggested in his photocaption... Still with a £15 million black hole in the council accounts looming... you could say the local Tories have difficulty with numbers... Peachy!

Read more:   

An MP tweets:

SJacksonMP's avatar

Lab troublemakers who are worried about their kid's "privacy" now escalating row in national media. PT Forum  [ says PT columnist ] think they overeacted for spite

Festive Greetings from Cllr Turnip?
Whilst we are all in festive mode digging around a few green bins, our festive internet trolls found what appears to be an early draft of a Christmas Message on Cllr Turnips website. You'll have to join, the Tory Party website, to read it in its final form. So this is allegedly an early crumpled up draft, what do you think? :
We found what appears to be an early draft of Cllr Turnips Christmas Message to his 40 or so supporters … the theme is 'volunteering' ie unpaid work.  Enter Baron Hardup (stage left...)
Cllr Turnip
Greetings new Peterborough residents from Uncle  Bulgaria and other clangers
Happy  Christmas 2013 – A great year of volunteering work from our ward. No money left, so the City Council thanks you!

We spent loads of money on consultants and fountains, so times are tight. I’ve let you all get on with it, but equally happy to distribute the slender Community Leaders funding far and wide, leaving little for spending – no Spring/Summer Planting and the Green Wheel is a mess - inside our tiny run down ward, except within the fabled golden triangle (bounded by the Park Farm Pillar Box (square yard of black topping and two concrete posts CLF £900) The Primary School, of which I’m proud to say I’m a governor i/c gardens and soil, loads of my allocated CLF wonga has gone in there. Cushty! (£1,800 for raised veg. beds for the infants) –wonder if the ‘sprouts’ can do me some sprouts in time for Christmas? Geddit?  The third point of the triangle is my own bijou residence. Gonna have a special parking space, electric car even...well might do.    
I’ve been so terribly busy. Marco rewards loyalty and has put ME on lots of committees, its really so exciting, this feeling of unbridled power, self importance even, wearing my black suit, and admittedly the extra money about £4,000 a pop comes in dead handy. THEY KEEP PAYING ME EVERY YEAR. I can afford to keep the heating on ALL DAY. EVERY DAY!  How many of you volunteers can say that!
When I get bored, after a while my tongue tends to hang out, don’t know why I mentioned it but I did.  I’m on the audit committee, so you know the council finances – we call it the ‘black hole’ is safe with me, we have lots of jars and each one has its own special label!  

I’ve also done great work on the planning committee. I get extra allowances for that too, betcha didn’t know that? Oh you did. Oh and another committee, err 3 in all? I’m even mentioned in the current Key Theatre pantomime! Oh, no I isn’t!  See what I did there?

Once again its proved to be a great year for voluntary work both in our community and further afield. So people keep at it the more work you put in the less hassle for Team Turnip! 

The Park Farm Pumas continue to go from strength to strength, a bit like japanese knotweed and have joined forces with some Cardea volunteers , not all the residents included, so they a bit hacked off. to set up a sports association working with the city council and Persimmon Homes on the new pavilion and sports fields project.

And guess what I’m happy to say some of my CLF funding has gone into that too. I’m certain they will produce the accounts one day but whilst we are having so much fun who cares?  They continue to offer a superb and inspirational youth football experience to many children from all over Peterborough. They are not too good at the paperwork but there again, thanks to all the parents and guardians, paying out for all the gear and repeat subscriptions. I’m just overjoyed to help in my little way… In off me 'ead.... 

Stanground Community Association, I’m the Secretary you know! Pillar of the Community…stuffed the building full of commercial, rent paying outfits, even a dodgy Sunday outfit at one point.  Funny how things turn out, but again several years accounts involving many, many  thousands of pounds in public funding, are still not accounted for  – its on the Charities Commission website just enter the number 271705, it continues to support many local groups and clubs, same faces, different names, the chat club for example gets public funding, for chatting! Marvellous! Just so happy to help, the ever popular summer family fun day was attended this year by the Mayor and our MP Shailesh Vara, but none of this could happen if people didn't volunteer so much time to this valued community centre. So keep volunteering, make ME look good!  I think we even paid off the band twice over, it's that good!

The Friends of Heritage Park School organised the hugely successful fantastic summer fete, not many attended admittedly, but those who did, well done and at this year’s Christmas Bazaar raised a staggering £2 grand which will go towards new equipment for the children. Yes really, all of it.

And not forgetting all our individual volunteers who give their time freely to help out in so many others ways across the city. Not forgetting those who volunteer as a team, hate to think you would be left out…

Proof indeed that such a selfless attitude to our community (can’t use the word neighbourhoods as we cut that - some councillors had to hand back their allowances, bad day that. Peterborough as a whole by volunteers from our ward has resulted in some wonderful work being done. Exactly what escapes me but you know who you are.  Expect more of this as I’m monitoring the ‘black hole’ in the council finances, so unless you volunteer, its not likely to get done. I’ve spent up my CLF, mainly in the next ward and beyond but I’m in charge!  How splendid is that?

It has however come to my attention that some of you, who have given so much of your time for the good of others, have suffered the slings and arrows of unwarranted criticism by what I can only describe as an ‘internet troll’. I have however now seen the error of my ways and promised to stop being a complete turnip and might even turn the comments back on, so we can communicate on my Conservative Party website. But we won’t be having that signer from South Africa!  Too expensive to fly him over. No fooling me! 

I like to be modest. I for example stopped BURGERKING in its tracks.  Cllr Walsh used to teach English as a foreign language, told me it is posh to talk in the third person, so here goes:   This spineless individual ( see I am being ever so humble) brings nothing of value to our community, it would get nicked anyway. To question the most valiant efforts of others whilst himself doing nothing apart from post poisonous diatribe ( must look that up – nicked it from our ‘key man’ and very recently criminally convicted Conservative Cllr Peter Hiller – a full Crown Court trial at great public expense, paid for by you taxpayers),  displays his level of hypocrisy and the reason why you should treat his actions with contempt and ignore him, indeed let such envy of your success drive you to even greater heights in 2014. But that is enough about serially useless me and my convicted Conservative councillor.

Big finish.  As your ward councillor, democratically elected with a good 300 or so majority,  I am very thankful, proud and honoured to work with you and I know our ward and many others in Peterborough are too. Keep up the great work. Me? I’m a bit busy at the moment, endless round of drinks parties, meeting MP’s,  might pop over to B&Q for a do. Buy a second black suit even.

May I wish you (won’t include the wife or my family) and your families and friends a truly Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2014. Because I know that I’ll be having one!  Pass the port… .

Turnip (Cllr) (Mr.)
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THE HIGH COURT has ruled....People have a right to lampoon and criticise politicians and public officials under the Human Rights Act, the High Court has ruled.

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ampoon (lampoon) Pronunciation: /lamˈpuːn/ verb [with object] publicly criticize (someone or something) by using ridicule, irony, or sarcasm: the actor was lampooned by the press noun a speech or text lampooning someone or something: the magazine fired at God, Royalty, and politicians, using cartoons and lampoons.

Derivatives: lampooner noun lampoonery noun lampoonist noun Origin: mid 17th century: from French lampon, said to be from lampons 'let us drink' (used as a refrain), from lamper 'gulp down', nasalized form of laper 'to lap (liquid).


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