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Thursday, October 13, 2016

Its going to be a cold heartless Peterborough City Council Christmas for some but not Peterborough Councillors as they trouser a £2,000 a head pay hike...

PBROTRIB NOT SO FESTIVE SKETCH, Its going to be a cold heartless Peterborough City Council Christmas for some....but Peterborough City Councillors last night voted themselves a brexit buffering £2,000 a head 'pay rise'!!!  Vote Conservative they're worth it?

Ugly Sister 1: Eee 'ave you 'erd about the Peterborough plan for homeless ?

Ugly sister 2: Pay your rent on time, for years and years, then Cinders OUT you GO to join 'em?
Priceless, Princess...

Baron Hardup: Or how Peterborough City Council saved a small fortune?

ALL: Start out with a HUGE one!!!!

Yes its that time of year again, the tiny 400 seat Key Theatre, Peterborough announces the line up for its ethnically balanced, environmentally friendly, frugally financed, pantomime. Oh No it isn't ( We'll not have childish behaviour on this blog...leave the mic alone).

Produced by those masters of black arts, misdirection, and miserly financial return, the not so self financing Vivacity and their unique environmentalcity production of:  

"Red Riding Hood meets Cinderella
Peter Pan and the Lost Boys,
under the light of
Aladdin's Magic Street Lamp (LED of course)
 on Treasure Island, 
climbs a Magic Beanstalk
 and coaxes the
Magic Goose to
lay a Golden Egg
Magic Beans
and aided by
Offshore Scallywag Keys...

Cllr 'KillaKlown' Hiller as The Master Villain of the Itchy Keys, marvel as they self scratch and score! Take him down.

Cllr Holeinditch as Baron Hardup, but has cunning plan to boost his henchpersons allowances (see below)  involves magic beans, silent mics and secret handshakes 

Cllr Turnip, demonic anaerobic swamp master, purveyor of self inflating mushy pumpkins, rash (itchy) decisions, self igniting puffs, small intellect, foul smelling odour, seldom speaks, but tweets a little mainly to family... BOO! HISS! 

elevator heels by Clarkes café
White Handbag by Poundworld
Cllr Fitz. who in turn directs: 

The Brokers Men Cllr John Peach Melba man, Happy Snappa and Child Catcher, doubles as crowd.
Prince Charming Stewart 'Stewie4Brexit' Jacco also lead understudy for Friar Tuck ( saves money on hair stylists )

Gary Goose plays himself and any other short term well financed interim unadvertised roles, uses golden egg as prop. Good layer.

Marco Marie Celeste multiskilled plays any empty rudderless vessel as in my Treasure Island and doubles up as Sun King and Treasure Island Café owner  "Pizzas of Eight"

Cllr Spanker as Banker rises all round

Background crowd in all productions drawn from nine hard working rent paying families about to be made homeless by the Council in time for Christmas in blinkered council deal - and just have a look at the lease on this link - to house homeless...making others homeless...
You really could not make this up, but we will try...

All other parts played by council officers (on double bubble of course) except for
Broadcaster/narrator Paul Stainton,
Producer Ben, as Black Spot, Prompt
Pit Orchestra - 
Ken and the Heartbeats
Comb by Poundland, Paper by Bronco

What isn't so funny, the financially cushioned councillors just in time for the festive season will soon allow the larger 1,000 seater plus iconic Broadway Theatre to slip through its grasp, when for an trifling amount - far less than the Celeste style solar farm disaster or the decidedly iffy accounting applied to a simple bridge repair or the rolled up Borges Boulevard dead tree disaster, they could have ensured some 2,000 free spending theatregoers visit the City every day the theatre was open, for many years to come, boosting Peterborough businesses, creating jobs increasing revenues flowing into Peterborough year in, year out !!!

Even an experienced highly regarded operating company was lined up, none other than Bill Kenwright Productions? Sheer madness!  

You will all have heard of the 'Killjoy Clowns' terrorising the City? none other Conservative led Peterborough City Council that voted itself an astonishing above inflation increase in its allowances and extra cash from public funds, for writing out Christmas cards or playing Minecraft in the Chamber and extra dosh for sitting on committees?  

If that wasn't 'criminal' enough you will also have heard the claim by Cllr Ed. Murphy and other councillors that loudspeakers in the public gallery were switched off while the debate on councillors self enrichment continued unheard in the chamber.

This what our Ed thinks:

Last Night with audio speakers turned off in the public gallery so the public could not hear council proceedings.

The Conservative Councillors voted to spend another £186,000 on their own allowances.

Most of this will go to Conservative and on extra large special responsibility allowances for example the leader cabinet member for education who saw us come bottom in the whole of England in recent school SATs results Voted to give himself a £10,000 increase, despite telling lies to the media on Monday when he said he would not be voting for this.

 This is shameful the same Councillors that let us down spending £1 million putting homeless people in the Travel Lodge Hotel and charged more council tax than the budget needed last year, have made many mistakes costing millions award themselves an excessive pay rise.

No way should they give themselves such an excessive pay rise costing tens of thousands of pounds. I shall look for every opportunity to revoke this decision and actually reduce the amount of money being spent on special allowances to our failing councillors.   Cllr Ed Murphy


You might also have heard that the very same councillors who voted to climb in to bed with some 'North London property spivs '  as part of a homeless plan that has made nine hard working rent paying families lose their homes for Christmas.

The Peterborough effect you may call it, but to hear more it was aired on BBC You and Yours earlier today and is now on the BBCIPlayer

As we've said many time before you could not make this up. No seriously we wonder if the new kitten heeled hard lady Conservative Prime Minister Theresa May does understand what her local conservative councillors, and conservative party agents are plotting? If not she does now, the PBROTRIB is read inside Whitehall and Number 10...   

Cllr Darren Fower  wrote: "#Pottyborough ...........? Peterborough City Council paid for some smart new microphones, as the old ones kept crackling.  

The new ones also allow members to vote electronically, which means the data is easier to collect, share, [and possibly cut down on iffy voting too!] councillors in recent months have also received special training to show them how to use the new Mics for voting .... and this explanatory note is included in each Full Council pack ahead of each meeting ............

Despite ALL this they STILL DO NOT use the electronic microphones to vote ...... duh!" E&OE Tel:+44 (0) 1733 345581

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ampoon (lampoon) Pronunciation: /lamˈpuːn/ verb [with object] publicly criticize (someone or something) by using ridicule, irony, or sarcasm: the actor was lampooned by the press noun a speech or text lampooning someone or something: the magazine fired at God, Royalty, and politicians, using cartoons and lampoons.

Derivatives: lampooner noun lampoonery noun lampoonist noun Origin: mid 17th century: from French lampon, said to be from lampons 'let us drink' (used as a refrain), from lamper 'gulp down', nasalized form of laper 'to lap (liquid).


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